Do you love the Southwest of the USA? But wish it was in South Africa? Then you are in luck! Here are some of the things to do in Clarens, South Africa. The Golden Gate National Park is right there, and this town is near Lesotho, so it makes for a good stopping point. The area has a frontier, southwest USA, feel to it. It’s about fours from Pretoria.
Golden Gate Park.
Cheese tasting at Baris: This farm cheese shop is so fun. Go for lunch and order a cheese tasting.
Cheese tasting platter at Baris.
Hiking: This is the real reason many people visit this area.
Gorgeous sunset in Golden Gate Park.
Gin tasting: At Clarens Brewery, they have a gin store, Junipers Craft Gin Bar, and they do tastings (plus they have some yummy food including their ‘chips’ or fries and they have Bunny Chow, a curry-in-a-loaf-of-bread specialty of South Africa.
View over my Bunny Chow.
Shopping: Lots of artwork, souvenirs, cards, clothes, and gin. I almost bought paintings by this local artist, Johan Smith. There are other cute shops including the Purple Onion. Make sure to check them all out. They are all next to each other. Everything from art, fudge, cards, shoes, clothes, and antiques.
Clarens has a Southwest wild west feel.
Entertainment: This town has live entertainment including a local guy who is famous in this local town.
Old timey feel at Purple Onion.
Eating: Surprisingly good restaurants for such a small town. The Italian one, Bocca di Lupo, run by a guy from Bologna, is divine. Excellent pizza and pasta.
Spicy spaghetti.
Sleeping: You can stay in a castle. I stayed at the Protea, a Marriott hotel because it was about four minutes downhill by food from the Clarens square with the shops and restaurants. Made for an easy commute after shopping or eating.
The shop at Highland Brew.
Outside of the town of Clarens, there are other things to do and see. Other than the cheese place, there is also a dinosaur center. If you want another cafe with views of the mountains and hiking areas, check out Highland Brew. It has food and drink, plus a shop selling jam and coffee.
One of my concerns about going on safari was the toilet situation. [If this is TMI, too much information, then stop reading now.]
When reading about safaris, no one seems to mention it. Why is this? I do not have the bladder of a camel. I like to stay hydrated and did not want to go four or five hours without drinking water. Especially in the hot dusty “bush” of the game park. I asked my friend who has been on many safaris about the peeing situation when on a game drive (these are usually from 5 am to 9 am) and again from 3 pm till dark. She said that they squat somewhere behind a bush… and watch out for lions…
A few weeks before going on safari, I was chatting with a colleague and it turned out that he had once owned a safari company. I asked him if they put up a “privacy tent” for the ladies when they needed to use the bathroom on the game drives. He said no. Usually, they recommended finding a bush… and watching out for lions…
I told him that I would be marking the vehicle, peeing right against a wheel. No wandering off to find a bush for me!
Some suggested that I use a Shewee (a funnel that allows a woman to stand while urinating). I would still have to get out of the vehicle… and watch out for lions…
But, then I got to thinking about it some more. I did some research (read about some of it here or this funny tale here). I asked around to those who do use adult diapers or know those who do. I decided that an adult diaper was the way to go. Just in case. I did some shopping for diapers. I could not find any that told me how much liquid an average diaper could hold. I read, “extra volume” and “holds for 12 hours” but no one mentioned if I could drink my 2.2 liters of recommended water and use only one diaper.
It didn’t matter because I could not wear it. It was too itchy. The “material” is made of the same material used for disposable underwear. Too itchy around the edges. The pads would be the solution. But, I still had no idea how much liquid it could hold. For those who do not know about adult incontinence pads, they are built with a substance that absorbs the liquid and turns it into a gel. Sort of as if you were building a small wall or brick. And that is a bit what it feels like.
To relieve my curiosity, I did an experiment. In the sink. I filled my daily water jug with water and poured it into the adult “pull up” underwear. I poured slowly as to avoid spillage. It held. I also tested the pad. It held. But it seemed like it would be uncomfortable.
So I went on safari without a solution. I think that safari places should take a pop-up seat along for the women. Or maybe I should take my own next time.
In the end, we could ask for a toilet stop or wait till the break. During the breaks, we could find a bush. I did not wander far off like some of the others. I just went to the other side of the jeep. This seemed a good idea to me for several reasons — I didn’t randomly touch some bush. I wasn’t in the bush with wild animals. And, I was still in the “profile” protection of the jeep (read my safari article to see why that is important).
All in all, I did not drink as much water as I normally would. Despite the heat and the bumpy rides. I tried to do all my hydration from 8:30 am when we got back for breakfast.
Just as one has destination weddings, one can have destinations weaving shops. Am I being too clever? Yeah, maybe. Also, what is “roosterkoek”? (in the photo).
A view of the drive to or from Barrydale.
Back when I was planning my trip to South Africa, I dove into YouTube. I watched a video from “Tourist in My Own Country” about Barrydale, a town along the Garden Route and Route 62. Barrydale and Route 62 are a bit like those towns one finds in the Southwest USA, a bit hippy, a bit rural, a bit artsy. The drive to get there is beautiful. Stop to take photos. It’s a proper “drive” and you should enjoy it.
I want it so much that my heart hurts a bit.
Once you get there, stop in at Barrydale Weavers. Maybe do a gin tasting. Buy some blankets and table linens. Watch a weaver at the loom. Everything is hand woven.
Bar inside Barrydale Weavers.
Almost all the photos are from Barrydale Weavers because that’s the reason I went to that town.
The loom.So much to buy.
There are also normal touristy shops and lots of quirky restaurants. You can try “roosterkoek” (translation is “grill cake”) which is a type of yeasty bread roll that gets griddled/toasted so that it is marked from the grill. You may remember that I love yeasty toasted bread so this was right up my alley.
Roosterkoek bread with grill marks.
We ate at Camel Horse. It was cute and the food was good. Not overly busy and excellent diffused light out on the deck.
When driving in South Africa, it’s not just the baboons one has to think about.
There is also a “abnormal/le” sign that I didn’t managed to snap.
First, they drive on the British/Japanese side of the road so the driver is on the right side of the car. Using stick shift/manual with their left hand (you can rent an automatic but it is more expensive).
This I loved. It was obvious where you were going.
When renting a car, make sure to get a bigger one as most rental cars are tiny. Ask for automatic if you need that. And get all the extra insurance as they are extremely picky about dings and scratches. When dropping off, don’t worry too much about filing up the tank (just pay the extra – it won’t be as expensive as in the USA). The gas prices are controlled by the government.
Also lovely. Where there is a tree with shade, you can find community.
As for etiquette, when on the road, drive on the shoulder if you want to let the other cars pass you.
Most importantly, if other cars let you pass them, make sure to thank them by putting on your hazard lights for a quick second after you have passed.
Watch out for when there are folks doing this. I don’t know what it was.
Try and keep small change (100 rand) for the parking “guards” who watch out for your car when you go into a store or restaurant.
One of the car guards.
Shesha is the term for express lane.
Shesha line sign.
Be prepared for sights you have never seen before.
Driving in the big cities is fierce just like anywhere else.
And some you have.
Very blurry but you can see that he is selling brooms.
There are pit stops along the highways, but some are far from each other. Use online maps to figure out where to stop. Many of the stops we went to had their toilets out of service and had portapotties outside. These were surprisingly clean. They even had sinks with running water.
Driving while eating chicken wings. Is that legal?
Lekker. If you mention that you are traveling to South Africa, people will tell you about lekker (which means “great” or “awesome”), but there are other fun phrases and words to learn in colloquial South African (Afrikaans is a separate language, but some of these words, like lekker, come from there). Here are some of the phrases I heard and asked about with South Africans. (Other than vocabulary, there were some funny signs. I’ve used some throughout this blog posting).
Boomslang is an elevated walkway.
Lekker: is “great” or “super” and is used frequently.
Braai: a barbecue, as in an event, a thing, etc.
Boma: a campfire meal gathering. Come from British Officers Mess Area.
Lanie: translates to fancy or posh (posh is pronounced “poache” like gauche)
I just liked this sign.
It is not a train smash: it’s not a big deal.
Pleasure: used like an affirmation as in “it was a pleasure” but they use the word by itself.
Shame: can be used both as negative and positive. Like “oh really?”
Hot chick’s. Notice the possessive.
Hectic: means bad.
Hish: also means it’s bad.
A banana general dealer.
Now now: means it’s not happening now. In a while but not as soon as “just now.”
Just now: means that it will get done but not right now.
Is Hardbody Mogodu the proprietor?
Yobo: an enthusiastic yes.
Exciting revamp ahead.
Robot: traffic light.
It’s a monkeys wedding: when the sun is out and it’s raining.
Do not feed the baboons.
It’s such jol: it was a great time.
I love symmetry.
Howzit: how is it.
Biscuit: roundabout or traffic circle.
Ladies mile.
Cap/MCC: sparkling wine (cap classic).
Pudo: a post office box or receiving box like an Amazon box.li
Steak, venison, filet, bone marrow, and game meat. Okay, also drinks. While there is lots to eat that is vegetarian, South Africa is delight for meat eaters. Not only is there a lot of meat on the menu, it is not expensive, and there is a great variety. One can have a full steak dinner for 20 bucks. Tip is ten percent.
Let’s start with the sweet tooth.
Malva pudding: It’s a dessert sort of like sticky toffee pudding in England, except that Malva is made with apricots instead of dates so it is not as sweet. Just kidding. It is served with custard rather than toffee sauce, and that is what makes it less sweet.
Malva pudding with distinctive custard sauce.
Wine: Wine tasting is a big thing to do in South Africa. They have so much wine.
Amarula: is a liqueur sort of like Baileys. The urban legend is that the elephants were getting drunk off the fermented fruit of the Amarula tree and the humans got inspired to try it.
Amarula shots.
Biltong: is dried meat, like jerky, but it can be soft like dried mango in texture. The South Africans don’t like it when you say it’s jerky…
Bunny chow: is curry in a loaf of white bread. South Africa has immigrants from South Asia so there is lots of curry.
Bunny chow.
Kudu: is a kind of deer, or DLC, deer like creature (as one South African calls anything that can be turned into biltong). Delicious.
Eland: another edible hoofed animal. Bigger and delicious. Maybe the most delicious.
Bone marrow: is served a lot here. Maybe it’s a fad.
Bone marrow.
Roosterkoek: is a kind of bread a bit like a bun that is grilled so it gets good smoked char and deep grooves for absorbing taste. The bread is a yeasty bread so I liked it. Crunchy and yeasty. Now we are talking.
Roosterkoek.
Calamari (chokka): in South Africa are often served as “fingers” and is probably made from the local Cape Hope squid. It is exceptionally tender. No rubber bands here! See below.
Calamari sticks that match the fries.The square things are “rusks” which are dried bread.
South Africa is known for safaris, Capetown, penguins, the garden route, where the two oceans meet, and wine country. If you want to get inspired, I recommend a South African Youtube channel called “Like a Tourist” (I think they may soon run tours as well). Get inspired by the lesser known parts of South Africa, shown with excellent cinematic skill, by a native. I got inspired to go to Barrydale Hand Weavers, but otherwise, I relied on the recommendations of a friend who lives there… If you want to do what I did, then I’ve listed it below. Note: I will write about these places in separate blog postings in the next six months.
My itinerary:
You might make eye contact with a lion.
Safari –– Four night safari at Madikwe Hills: Madikwe is a private game reserve to the north of Pretoria. It is a four hour drive of which the last hour or so is inside the game reserve (so you will be on your own game drive!). Madikwe Hills is a luxury safari lodge (Think in the $500 per night and up range). I will write more about Madikwe in a separate article. I highly recommend them. I will write about safari in a separate article.
The view of the “game drive” vehicle at our luxury lodge.
The Garden Route — two nights in each — Capetown, Hermanus, and Knysna:
Breakfast view of the back of Table Mountain, at the Vineyard Constantia hotel.
Capetown: We stayed at the Vineyard, not in downtown Capetown, and it was a lovely hotel with views of table mountain. While in Capetown, we went to the Cape of Good Hope (the “southernmost” point of Africa — actually location is Cape Agulhus which is 90 miles away), we did fancy dinners (Chef’s Table at the Beau Constantia Vineyard and Belly of the Beast). We took Uber (your account will work here too) as to avoid driving, drinking and driving, and parking nightmares. We flew to Capetown on Safair, a domestic airline, and two things to note about that — it is possible to take liquids onto your domestic flights so load up on your coffee or tea — and you can reserve the middle seat for not so much money thus making it a pleasant flight. While in Capetown, you can go up the cable car to Table Mountain. Some days you will see nothing but we were lucky with sunshine. The cool thing about the funicular is that it rotates! So you will get a good view wherever you are standing when you get in. The ride is short (five minutes?) but the line is long (buy the VIP passes). Check out the botanical gardens.
There is also a restaurant at the botanical gardens.
Hermanus: We drove to a secret spot to see penguins (Betty’s Bay, on the way to Hermanus, and park at the Stony Point Penguin Colony entrance — you will still see penguins even when the colony is closed. It’s an insider’s secret!), did wine tastings (more to come on those later), and stayed at the Marine One hotel. The staff are helpful, the penthouse is large with a view of the whale-filled bay, but there are no elevators). The staff there can help you get to your whale watching and wine tasting. This is the place for whale watching.
Penguins hanging out on the beach. Amazing views along the Garden Route.
Knysna (‘nice-naw’): This is a place to see the Knysna Headlands (I really liked the East Head Cafe), enjoy a sailboat ride, eat seafood, shop at Old Nick Village (a small outdoor shopping area including Mungo and their workshop), visit Barrydale for the drive and the shopping, and explore other shopping opportunities such as a farmers market. We stayed at Mount Knysna which has amazing views (and an elevator) and very nice rooms (the presidential suite has an extra bedroom).
View of the Heads from Mount Knysna hotel.
Another national park and small town — Clarens: Not on my list, but I went along with it. The town is known for being a cute artsy town, for the local hikes, amazing vistas in the national park (Golden Gate is not just in California), and a fun pitstop on the way to Lesotho. We stayed at the Marriott in town because then the town square and delicious restaurants were within walking distance (five minutes), but you can stay at a castle or a palace, or something more rural. Up to you. There is lots of do in Clarens, from dinosaur hunting, hiking, gin tasting, brewpub visiting, and cheese tasting. I had the most delicious Italian food there. The owner is from Bologna.
Golden Gate park in Clarens.
Pretoria: See the government building and giant statue of Mandela, have clothes made (or not), enjoy the malls, the low prices for steak ($20 for a steak dinner) and other meat. Enjoy the jacaranda trees in bloom in spring.
Tender meat at cheap prices everywhere! This was a happy hour snack while on safari.
What time of year to visit? I went in October which is spring but the temperature varied depending on where we were. Some days it was unseasonably hot in the 90s F (35 C) and other days it was down to 50 F (15 C). The baby elephants and jacarandas are a springtime thing. Whale watching is in the spring.
The Knysna (the “k” is silent like in “knight”) Heads are some of the most dangerous narrowest waters to sail. Deceptively wide at 300 meters between the two headlands, but only 90 meters are deep enough for ships. The waters are rough. But only at the heads.
Our boat
I recommend walking along the coastal walk, staying at one of the places with a view, and taking a boat ride. We did a sunset and cocktails sailing tour. Read more about the 300 million year old history (is that true?) of the heads here.
Always a braai (barbecue/grill).
The ride out through the heads was rocky with waves up to six feet (two meters) and not good for those who get seasick.
The estuary is all calm.
The estuary inside is so calm that it seems strange after the violent heads.
If you find that you have a hankering for souvenir shopping when staying in Knysna and it’s a Saturday morning, go to Harkerville Saturday Market. It’s on the N2 highway, halfway between Knysna and Plettenberg Bay.
There are stalls with leather goods, wood carvings, clothes, figurines, bags, food, and almost anything else you would imagine at a craft fair and farmers’ market.
Many of the vendors design their own wares from clothes, bags, to tables from old wood.
They even have decent toilets out back.
But, this market is only on Saturdays and they close right at noon! I almost tripped over myself shopping!
I’ll talk about the other things to try in South Africa but when you are there, there is one thing on everyone’s mind — Malva pudding. From Woolies.
Household items in Woolies.Clothes in Woolies.
First of all, Woolies in South Africa is not like Woolworths in the USA or the UK, back in the day. No, it’s more like a Target or Macy’s with food. Or a Sears for those who remember them. Woolies is a place where you can get your grocery shopping done but also buy clothes and household items. A proper department store but on a more down to earth level.
Back to Malva pudding. It’s a moist cake served with custard or ice cream. If you like British sticky toffee pudding, then you’ll like Malva pudding as well. Malva pudding is not as sticky as sticky toffee pudding because instead of toffee sauce, it is topped with custard.
As to the origin of the name, the three theories are that it comes from the Afrikaans for a type of flower, or that it is named after a woman named Malva, or third, that it originally included Malvasia wine (Malvasia is a grape varietal, or type of grape).
The cheater/hack way to enjoy it is to buy it from Woolies, warm it up, and then serve with custard from Woolies. Easy peasy.
Not to sound too jaded, but I no longer buy magnets, keychains, or mugs as souvenirs. I try not to buy anything… and fail. Here are some of the things I looked at buying while I was in South Africa.
Traditionally in indigo colors but now found in the full range.
Shweshwe: is a fabric type. It is a thick cotton with printed geometric patterns. Read more about it on this blog. Apparently the name is the sound that the fabric makes when swishing around someone.
The original store. Okay, a well known store.
Vellies are a type of shoe that are thin soled (so you feel the earth) with leather uppers. They are a working shoe. It is a thing. These are made by many people and come in all colors. I wanted to buy the ones made by the pest controllers at the safari lodge (odd side business, eh?) but they did’t have the ones I needed in the color or size that I wanted (even though they were willing to custom make them) and I didn’t want to wait.
Our safari driver/guide wearing his well worn vellies.
Blankets: maybe it’s not special but I liked the all cotton ones I got at Barrydale Hand Weavers.
They had thin blankets, like this one, and heavier ones.
Linens: Seems odd, but household linens from Mungo are divine. All natural, handmade, locally sourced, and those other feel good goods.
Yes, we wanted everything.I even bought the apron.
Leather is apparently a thing to buy but I didn’t find any that I wanted to buy.
Artwork, especially from local individual artists, is a good souvenir.
Artwork at the farmers market.
Clothes: If you are a ‘plus size’ person, then you will find that South Africa puts those clothes in the regular shops and makes them in colors and styles that you would actually wear.
I went to South Africa. I saw, did, and ate many things. One of the things was the Garden Route. I had never heard of it. There are artsy small towns along the way. The Garden Route starts in a big town, Cape Town, and you can drive it for days along the western cape.
At sunset from the Mount Knysna hotel.
Before visiting South Africa, I had watched a video about a blanket shop in Barrydale. So that became a destination along the route.
Capetown: We stayed at the Vineyard, not in downtown Capetown, and it was a lovely hotel with views of table mountain. While in Capetown, we went to the Cape of Good Hope (the “southernmost” point of Africa — actually location is Cape Agulhus which is 90 miles away), we did fancy dinners (Chef’s Table at the Beau Constantia Vineyard and Belly of the Beast). We took Uber as to avoid driving, drinking and driving, and parking nightmares. We flew to Capetown on Safair, a domestic airline, and two things to note about that — it is possible to take liquids onto your domestic flights so load up on your coffee or tea — and you can reserve the middle seat for not so much money thus making it a pleasant flight. While in Capetown, you can go up the cable car to Table Mountain. Some days you will see nothing but we were lucky with sunshine. The cool thing about the funicular is that it rotates! So you will get a good view wherever you are standing when you get in. The ride is short (five minutes?) but the line is long (buy the VIP passes). Check out the botanical gardens.
The crew will save your life when it gets rocky going through the heads.
Hermanus: We drove to a secret spot to see penguins (Betty’s Bay, on the way to Hermanus, and park at the Stony Point Penguin Colony entrance — you will still see penguins even when the colony is closed. It’s an insider’s secret!), did wine tastings (more to come on those later), and stayed at the One Marine Drive hotel. The staff are helpful, the penthouse is large with a view of the whale-filled bay, but there are no elevators). The staff there can help you get to your whale watching and wine tasting. This is the place for whale watching.
East Head Cafe.
Knysna (‘nice-naw’): This is a place to see the Knysna Headlands (I really liked the East Head Cafe), enjoy a sailboat ride, eat seafood, shop at Old Nick Village (a small outdoor shopping area including Mungo and their workshop), visit Barrydale for the drive and the shopping, and explore other shopping opportunities such as a farmers market. We stayed at Mount Knysna which has amazing views (and an elevator) and very nice rooms (the presidential suite has an extra bedroom).
And the East Head Cafe is educational!
A thing to note about the Garden Route (coastal areas) is that it is fun to drive past the baboons. We did not want any baboon encounters. Apparently that is a thing.
