Category: inherited wisdom

The Soul’s Ultimate Goal is to Return to the Divine

M's Adventures
Spectacular.

One day in December, I was invited to the union celebration of Rumi. In Konya. I thought this was a marriage celebration, but in fact, it’s the union of Rumi with God — the celebration of Rumi’s death.

Other than a few quotes and knowing that Rumi was famous, I didn’t know much before that weekend.

Rumi, or Mevlana as he is often called in Turkish, was a Sufi mystic and poet, born in 1207 in the Persian empire. Fleeing the Mongol hordes, he eventually settle in Konya in what was the Byzantine Empire, or Easter Roman Empire. He was called “the Roman” or “Rumi” and that is what he is known as in English. There is so much to know about Rumi but I won’t go into it here.

Rumi said that the soul’s ultimate goal is to return to the divine through unconditional love, mindfulness, and the dissolution of ego. Down through the centuries, Rumi has become famous for his poetry. Most people have heard of the whirling dervishes and many have seen them “perform” but it’s more than that. Each rotation is a delicate prayer sent heavenward. The whirling dervishes were created by Rumi’s sons.

Personal.

The cultural center in Konya makes it easy to visit and appreciate the poetry and philosophy of Rumi, both for believers and non-believers. Every night, there is a whirling dervish performance at 7 pm. But, in December, there are special prayer sessions at 8 pm. These are hard to get tickets. It must be planned years in advance. For some reason, I thought it might be a solemn experience. It was a spiritual one. But also a very human one. All around me were people live streaming the songs and prayers via their telephones, often back to a loved one who was too sickly to make the event in person. The center also had lots of stalls where one could buy inexpensive crafts, Turkish delight, tea, and souvenirs.

Mevlani’s tomb.

Visiting the mausoleum of Rumi and his family was a quiet experience. There are many items on display so the place is a bit like a museum. But, there are also people there who are praying so it’s a bit like a mosque. One has to put on shoe covers, and women can, if they want, cover their hair. Scarves are available.

Loaner scarves.

Konya is a conservative city but during Rumi tourism time in December, it’s accommodating for foreigners. But the city gets crowded so plan ahead.

The Realities of Life in Adana

M's Adventures

So I wrote about the great things about living in Adana. Now, here are the things that are not so great.

The hot summers: It gets up to 110 F (44 C) almost every day for a few weeks and the rest of the three or so months (mid-June through mid-September) the temperature will be above 90 F (32 C) during the day for months on end. This heat is not too sticky but it’s not completely dry and you still sweat. A lot. There is one good thing about this heat and that is that there are minimal outdoor activities or anything outdoors during this time. And there is lots of air conditioning.

The smoking. They smoke. A lot. Even inside restaurants.

The traffic. Yes, it’s bad. In the city. The roads are in bad condition. Not everyone follows the rules. Is the traffic worse than Dhaka? No.

Chaos but no animals in the streets.

The flies — well that ONE fly that goes straight for my mouth when I step outdoors. Or buzzes around our food at the breakfast places. Ugh. Usually it is not a big fly. But after I bought the electric fly swatter, life changed. Now I just have to figure out a way to attach the fly swatter to my face…

The lack of international items other than Japanese sushi rolls. No real Indian food. None. There is pasta with curry or rice with curry but it’s nothing like curry.

The language. It’s hard.

Other parts of Turkiye look down on this city. Many treat it like the ugly step child… It seems like lots of people come from Adana but have left.

But, even with all these negative things about Adana, I like this city. Maybe because it’s the underdog.

The Good Things About Life in Adana

M's Adventures

As I have done for all the places I’ve lived these past 15 years, I write about the pros and cons. This is the good stuff about living in Adana as a foreigner.

It’s a chill place even though the weather is hot in the summer. People are fairly relaxed here about dress code, lifestyle, smoking, drinking, etc. Live and let live. Cover your hair if you want. Wear shorts if you want. Hijabs next to mini skirts.

There are lots of coffee shops open late into the evening so that one can go out without going to a club.

Cups for sale.

There are thousands of restaurants in all price ranges. Every place will serve Turkish breakfast (kahvalti). Just ask.

A local eatery.
A fancier restaurant.

The locals are friendly. Everyone has a phone so they can use a translator app.

There are no tourists. I mentioned that already in another article.

The great things about living in Adana are that it’s a vibrant city full of people going about their lives. Food is fresh and good. People are friendly. Taxis are cheap.

When a Father Becomes a Real Father

M's Adventures

A man is not really a father until he has a daughter. This is what a Turkish man told me. Maybe it was a translation thing. I don’t know. But I thought it was an intriguing thing to say. I do not think that it meant that one should not have sons, but that one should also have a daughter. Sweet thought.

Turkiye is undergoing a downward trending birth rate. Less than the replacement rate. The birth rate has dropped by half from 1960 when it was three children per woman. Now, 1.5 per woman. The Turkish government has tried to encourage their citizens to have more children, but the cost of living is stopping people from having more children. The government called 2025, the “Year of the Family” and started paying money to families who had more children. But still, as one Turk said to me, “Who can afford it?” When I asked about his thoughts on having children.

As for the comment about having a daughter to become a “real father” — others have told me that this is not true. In Turkiye, there is still a preference for boys, so maybe this comment was a personal opinion?

There is a set price for bread.

Yes, the Turks also celebrate Fathers’ Day on the third Sunday in June. The first one was in 1910 in the United States. The Turks started celebrating a few decades ago. The Turks often celebrate Ataturk as they consider him the father of the nation. So maybe “every day is fathers’ day!”

The Hammam

M's Adventures
The sink from inside fancy hammam in Istanbul.

Many years ago, I went to a fabulous hammam (the idea of it being a “Turkish bath” was introduced in 1644 even though the tradition is more than 2,000 years old and started as “thermae” in Rome) in Istanbul. Now that I live in Adana, I wanted to find the experience again.

I asked some colleagues if they went to the hammam. As one man said to me, “No, I do not like strange men touching me… and especially when I have no clothes on.” Fair comment, fair comment. I asked others who told me that they did not go the hammam. No tradition of it now that everyone has a bathroom in their own home. In the old days, people had no running hot water in the home so they went to the bathhouse.

The hamman tradition is a remnant of the Romans (again, it’s all about those roads leading to Rome). The Romans also had no baths at home. The bath houses were a place to do more than bath. One went there to exercise, eat, and socialize. Everywhere the Romans went, they built baths (and roads). Even after the “fall of Rome” the Roman empire continued as the Byzantine Empire, then as the Ottoman Empire. Fast forward a century, and the hammam still exists.

Recently I learned that in olden times (I assume Ottoman times), mothers would go to the hammam to find a wife for their sons… well, I guess that is a sure way to do a visual inspection. I cannot speak to the visual inspection thing, but what I do know is that most young people and many others do not use the public hammams anymore. On top of which at many of the hammams, they have private rooms.

A hammam in Adana which is easy to identify by the skylights.

Despite what the modern Turks prefer, I was looking forward to getting regular Turkish baths. So I went searching. Most of the hotels have Turkish bathhouses. So far, I can see that they are staffed with Balinese women. One hotel had Balinese women for the English speakers and Turkmen women for the Turkish speakers. Generally the price is around 2,000 to 2,500 for a Turkish bath at a hotel. You do not need to be staying at the hotel to use the hammam.

It may seem a mystery for many so I will explain the basics of the Turkish bath. The men and women are separated either by location or time (some days or parts of the days for women and others for men). You can make an appointment or walk in and see if they have someone available.

This is one of the hammams in Adana. They have a plunge pool. Note the Turkish towels on the shelves.

Some places will have blue “shower caps” for your shoes for you to put on before you enter the spa area.

Some of the shoe cover machines do not use blue shower caps.

Once you enter, you will be taken to a locker room where you put your belongings in a locker (including your underwear although I’m told that some people keep it on). Then put on the robe or cotton wrap and paper slippers. Some places will make you shower before, but some do not have showers at the beginning. Then someone will guide you to the sauna, then the steam room (the sauna and steam room are optional), and then to the room with the golden taps and golden dish to rinse yourself. The person bathing you will be wearing a Turkish towel as well or maybe that and a top (if a woman). After you, and they, have rinsed you enough, they will indicate that you lie down on the warm marble slab (which is usually octagonal and in the center of the room) where they have placed a Turkish cotton towel.

Then, the person will take a special scrubbing brush and scrub a few layers of skin off you. This will be all over you, except for the genitalia. But very close. They will indicate when you need to roll over, when you need to sit up, and so on. They will scrub your face and wash your hair as well. They will massage you a bit. Then you will be rinsed off again.

Then you lie down on the warm wet towel again. And the best part happens… they take a cotton “pillow case” and suds it up in a cauldron. From there, they squeeze the suds and bubbles over you. It is marvelous. The warm bubbles effervesce on you like giddy bubble bath champagne. It is bliss.

A view showing the marble bench where you would sit and rinse yourself (also from the fancy place in Istanbul).

After the hammam is over, you may be covered in more towels and taken out to a rest area. There you may be offered tea or other restoratives.

Typical rest area in a hotel spa.

And then you pay. You can tip if you want to. Some places want cash payment which I find a bit…

All Roads Lead to Ham?

M's Adventures

It is hard to escape the pull of Italy. All roads lead to Rome and sometimes, one just has to accept it.

After living in Italy, which is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, I am continually asked if I miss it. No. But I do miss the cooked ham. The cured ham. The thinly sliced ham. So I went back. Not just for the ham.

In a small commuter town south of Florence, I went to a fantastically wonderful deli called Prelibum. Prelibum is Latin for “before the cake” so this is a place to buy delicious savory dishes before one eats cake. The deli has proscuitto, cheeses, wine, prepared dishes, and my favorite, Norwegian salmon. If you have never had Norwegian salmon, then I recommend it. If you think salmon is too oily or fishy, then try Norwegian salmon. (I don’t work for Norwegian salmon). Prelibum is also located in a small town in Belgium as the owners are Belgium and Italian.

In this little town in Tuscany, I also had other good food. But I must admit that I was bit focussed on the ham. The one I liked was called “Prague ham” — call me weird, but I liked that it looked like ham. Not a mishmosh of pieces stuck together with meat glue. (I prefer that as spam or a hotdog — what did you think it was made of?)

Sure, I walked along the Arno, drank prosecco, and walked the passegiata, and all those other “dolce vita” things that one does when in Italy.

On the train to Rome, I ate ham. On the flight back, I ate ham.

I love living in Adana, but maybe I need to take some ham breaks…

Recommendations from a Local from Adana

M's Adventures

I have now been in Adana for almost a year. These are recommendations I got from a local (and their comments) before I got here. I have been to almost all these places. In a way, this is a recommendation list of Adana specialities. I wrote about those earlier.

The “milk shake” at Kazim’s Buffet is more like a banana smoothie.

https://hankebap.com.tr/  really good meat options and any kind of food u can eat there 

https://www.makirestoran.com/makiroof.php best cocktail place 

https://www.dedekebap.com.tr/  their steak is really good 

http://www.cigerciulas.com.tr/#/home  their liver is best with ayran

https://www.hayalkahvesi.com.tr/

kazim bufe  = Milk shake place best in ADANA by the TOROS CADDEsi 

https://www.parkzirve.com.tr/ = breakfast area for weekends 

GÖLEVİ Balik Restaurant = for fish or Raki

https://adanayelken.com.tr/iletisim.aspx  = by the lake nice view good for nights for wine or for a good dinner

Of course, I now have my own recommendations. And it doesn’t mention most of these places. But then again, I’m not local. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that these recommendations were made for me as a foreigner. I made my own list of expat friendly places.

Turkish Toilets

M's Adventures

As I wrote about when I lived in Rome, I am a huge fan of the bidet. During the pandemic, during the toilet paper shortage, some people switched to the bidet.

Typical toilet with bidet, flush, toilet paper, and trash can.

Now that I live in Turkiye, I am back in the land of bidets. But, unlike in Rome, the bidet is a nozzle of water that is part of the toilet. Usually, it is a small spout in the back of the toilet under the toilet seat. It is activated by turning a handle on the right side of the toilet somewhere on the wall. The flush is usually a flat button (usually there is a small and large flush button) built into the wall behind the toilet.

In some countries, the seatless style of toilet where one squats over a hole in the floor, is called a, “Turkish toilet.” Some consider this more hygienic as no part of the skin makes contact with the toilet. This squat style toilet is not so common anymore in big cities in Turkiye. One still finds them in public toilets at malls and out in the countryside. Most of the toilets here have the bidet function and toilet paper for drying off. Many toilets in Turkiye cannot handle toilet paper so there may be a trashcan nearby.

A squat toilet which in other countries is often called a “Turkish toilet.”

Another thing about Turkiye is that people wash their hands a lot here. Before they eat and after. With every meal, there are wet wipes and napkins available. Plus, the “cologne” that is splashed on your hands after the meal which works like a sanitizer.

One thing to note about Turkiye is that people eat with both hands. In Bangladesh, another country with many muslims, people rarely ever used their left hand when eating.

Often outside the bathroom, in restaurants, there is a sink for handwashing. And at mosques, there are places to do one’s ablutions.

A place to wash one’s feet.

Modern Turkey is a secular country so maybe that has something to do with how things are.

All I know is that I love the built-in modern Turkish toilet, the bidet.

Best Burgers in Adana

M's Adventures

Hey, before ya come at me with your ‘tude, keep in mind that I cannot taste all the burgers in Adana. I tried. I ate a burger and fries for dinner for seven days in a row… my conclusion is that I cannot try them all.

Some of the best burgers I’ve had were in the United States. American beef is famous for being delicious. It is the land of the burger. The cattle are different here.

But Adana is the land of meat. They have “kofte” which are meatballs and they have them all over. They even have the kind that are not made of meat. But I digress. Which burger did I like the best?

Los Brunos: The meat tastes the best. They have nachos. Their fries are fine.

Barks Burgers: Famously the most popular with the expats. Good burger. Good fries.

Grill Lab: Best fries — hand cut and awesome. Homemade aioli (mayonnaise). Other sauces homemade. AND, the best pickled jalepeno I have tasted, ever. Also house made. I did find gristle in my burger but the chef says that he will soon grind his own meat.

Grill Lab’s fries and sauces are handmade and delicious.

I went to other places (there are hundreds and hundreds of burger places in this town) but either the meat was too “animaly” or the meat was like a wool sweater.

Winter in Adana – Where is the Ark?

M's Adventures
Snow capped Taurus mountains in the distance behind the lake, on a rare day with blue sky in January.

And now for the weather. Before I got to Adana, everyone told me it was too hot. They were right. It is too hot and for too long. I was looking back at photos from November and I remember sweating. But then January and February happened. And it rained 15 months worth of rain in 40 days. Like something out of the bible.

So now I will assume that winter in Adana is all about rain, flooding, potholes, and thunderstorms.

There were days in January when the temperature at night got close to freezing. That is cold. I was told that there would be a sweet spot in October November when it was great weather. I think it was hot. So now, I’m told that the next perfect weather time is April May. We will see. Maybe it goes from rainy storms to blistering hot?

Souvenir Shopping in Adana

M's Adventures
Adana’s area code is 01.

Since you can’t take an Adana kebab as a souvenir, one has to (has to) find a magnet or mug as a souvenir. Recently, I was at the women’s cooperative, Adana Kadın kooperatifleri Birliği, for brunch and it turns out that they also have a shop (one is sitting surrounded by things to buy) so that is my recommendation for where to buy souvenirs.

Adana is famous for its clock tower, orange festival, Roman bridge, and the kebab. This shop, located conveniently in old Adana (just down from the clock tower, on the side of a park, Ziyapaşa Parkı), is a nice reprieve from the heat and bustle. Or cold and wet.

The orange festival is the biggest event of the year in Adana.

Aside from souvenirs like magnets, they also have handmade items and food for sale. And as I mentioned, you can eat there. The staff are very nice. It is hard to not buy a basket or hammer pants (which is the baggy style that many people wear here).

The other place I would recommend for souvenirs is Starbucks. Sounds odd? The Adana mug is adorable.

There are also other places to find souvenirs but one has to search. Or stick to the main touristy street.

Four Dollars a Brew

M's Adventures
The leaves when reconstituted.

When a cup of tea costs $20, then you might as well get as many brews out of it as possible. The tea tasting I did in New York seems a world away from Adana, and centuries ago.

One of the pours.

When I went to Chinatown Flushing in New York, I went on a tea tasting at Fang Gourmet Tea. After selecting two teas (at $20 each), the tea connoisseur explained the tea, washed the miniature cups in hot water, and brewed the tea. Five times for each tea. After each brew, we tasted the tea again.

The tea changed color with every brew.

I’ll admit that this may be too subtle for me. After a while, it just tasted like ‘tea’ to me. I could see the change in color, but I started to hallucinate that I was making up flavors and aromas just because I was supposed to be able to detect them… actually, what I found most interesting was the tea person. She had worked there for decades. She was calm and deliberate with all her movements. She really sensed every nuance in each brew… and I think she found our obtuseness a bit amusing.

The skein of a filter.

After the tasting, we could buy the teas. These are not cheap. Nothing below $45. The shop was filled with tea paraphernalia that we could buy.

A selection of the cheaper teas.

And photos were not allowed of the shop…

The outside of the teashop.

In Sri Lanka, I went to a tea shop and did a tea tasting. I’m a simple person and I like my Earl Grey…

Fast forward a few centuries and I live in Adana where tea is offered at every meal. And in between. But here the tea is the color of mahogany. (Turkiye has the highest per capita of tea drinking at three kilos per person, per year.)