Tag: dating

Casanova, Romeo, and Rodriguez

M's Adventures

Almost any tourist destination has them. People who have holiday romances. In some places, they even make a sort of “living” off of the tourists. Those are Romeos. I’m also not sure that Italy has so many Romeos who live off of the tourists as there are so many other ways to make a living off of the tourists.

In Italy, a “lady’s man” is called a Casanova (Casanova was so much more than just a lover of women. He was passionate about food as well and had started writing a dictionary of cheeses.)

A Rodriguez is a different thing. In Spain, in the summer, the wives and families go off to the beach houses. The married men are back in Madrid as geographic bachelors… these men are are Rodriquezzes (not sure what the plural is). Also not sure if this goes on in Italy and if there is a name for them…

In Latin America and Spain, it is quite normal for a man to have two families, one with a woman he is married to and another with his mistress. Or if he is homosexual, a wife and a love.

This is a pastry from the Amalfi Coast.

I once asked an Italian about this. He said that it was too expensive to have two families. But, in Italy, I actually met quite a few Italian men who are faithful to their moms and their girlfriends.

Italy has a dropping birth rate and currently there are fewer Italians than tourists who visit each year (59 million versus 60 million, or so). This is not related to the romancing going on in Italy. It has to do with economics. Thirty percent of women lose their jobs after maternity leave. Most jobs are contracts only so people can’t afford to own their own apartment until they have a “permanent” job and then, often, the parents help with purchasing a place. Apparently, Italians do not want to have a child until they have a permanent job. Not a surprise.

One thing I will say about Italians is that they are great flirts as in they are charming and talkative. They call you “bella” or “bello” and it is nice to be called beautiful.

How to Date An Italian

M's Adventures

One could easily fall for an Italian. They talk so sweet and call you beautiful. But, aside from it all being talk, how do people date in Rome?

In the usual way. They meet at bars, at social events, at sporting events, and many use technology. Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Grinder, Facebook, Instagram, Meet, and many more. Tinder which was known for mainly hookups is now used for dating. Bumble is where the women make the first move.

In person and online, it dating is still a visual affair. Once someone sees someone that they like (a nice smile, and not too many sunglass photos — no duck face!), then they ask for “a coffee.”

I heard that people are quickly moving offline and to the “coffee” so they can see if there is any chemistry at all, quickly.

Really famous coffee bar in Trastevere.

There is the stereotype of the Latin lover and for some that is true. I met an woman who, twenty years ago, moved to Italy to find a man. She did within three weeks. She found a friend who let her sleep on her floor while she set herself up in Rome. I guess she got tired of sleeping on the floor. 

What Makes A Woman Attractive in Bhutan – Matriarchy in Bhutan

M's Adventures

What makes a woman attractive in Bhutan? Apparently, it depends on the region. In the western regions of Bhutan, an attractive woman is one who can care for her farm. In the western part of Bhutan, the daughter inherits the farm (as they say, “because her parents love her so much” that they give the farm to her knowing that she will care for it). In some areas of Bhutan, the families are matrilineal, or as I was told “the woman is the boss” in the relationship. But, often, the inheritance depends on which child is not doing as well for him or herself.

An attractive woman is one who can care for her farm.
Two ladies making fresh butter, an attractive skill.

In the eastern regions, red cheeks and a tall and slim figure are considered attractive. Many young people move to the big city of Thimphu, get a better education, a non-agrarian job, and live together before getting married. Once they have tried it, if they think it will work, then he proposes. Around Thimphu there are many nightclubs where young people like to go to meet, to dance, with singing karaoke being a favorite pastime. The large festivals are also prime seasons for meeting potential mates. The average age of marriage is rising in the city to 25 but until recently, it was much lower.

Young people meeting at a festival in Thimphu.
Young people hanging out on a wall at a festival in Thimphu.

In Bhutan, there are no outward signs of marriage such as wedding rings or bracelets (Hindu women can wear white Shakha bracelets as an indication of their married status). When I asked, I was told, “you must trust.”

Dating in the Desh

M's Adventures

Courtship, Bangladeshi style.

Bangladesh is a crowded country so getting away from the madding crowd for a quiet “date” with someone you are courting or being courted by… is somewhat a matter of real estate. Famous Lalbagh Fort, considered a mini Taj Mahal, looks quite different from what is shown on the Amazing Race TV show, but it is worth visiting. There is a mausoleum built by a grieving father, a harem with baths, sweet smelling flowers, and a 300-year-old pool. Interestingly, what makes the fort so attractive is not the tomb, pool, or harem. In a crowded country, the walkways and niches provide a private place in a public space for young Bangladeshi couples to court. This a romantic place and there must be something in the air.

Lalbagh Fort’s mausoleum to two daughters.

Love rocks!

Courting Deshi couples wait outside the gate for the Fort to open.

The harem at Lalbagh Fort with the crowded apartment blocks just outside the fence.