Tag: life lessons

Bangladeshi Home Cooking

M's Adventures
Eggplant, fish, squash, potato, taro root mash, gourd, peas, red spinach, beans, taro leaf…

A secret was revealed to me… plain home cooking Bangladeshi style. Every time I’ve been to a Bangladeshi home, I’ve been served beef, chicken, biryani, and other bounty of the table. The food in Bangladeshi restaurants is fancy as well. I just want home cooking. Apparently, home cooking involves lots of “mash” made from different vegetables. Like in most cultures, this is not considered good enough for guests.

Veggies, shrimp curry, eggplant dip, pomelo and apple salad…

Finally, a Bangladeshi friend of mine understood me and my out of town guests (it makes me really happy when this level of cultural understanding happens) and he invited us to dinner. He made us “ordinary” food of vegetables. And more vegetables. I loved it. We had taro root in three different ways, tamarind sauce, squash, peas, eggplant, potatoes, fresh chapati, rice, beans, shrimp, and so much more. My favorite was the white taro mash with chiles. My guests were thrilled to be invited to a Bangladeshi home on the very night of their arrival from the other side of the world. I’m glad to have been given a friend who so comprehends me. He explained to me that even he likes to drop in on friends so that he can get real home cooking.

Taro mash. These mashes are typical, apparently.

So now I’ve got to learn this skill. More taro root for me please!

Pottery Village Trip in Bangladesh

M's Adventures
Bangladeshi river boat driver.

Photos are still the best souvenirs. The one I got here of our boat driver was my favorite from the hundreds I took on a touristy trip to a village where they make pottery. While the trip was geared for tourists and the villagers are used to being photographed, they were still kind and friendly to us. I didn’t feel so milked as I have in many other “villages” around the world. On top of which, at this village, the forced shopping component was at a pit stop along the road back to Dhaka. It was a fun day out.

The expert fixing one of the bowls.

The bowls we got to try our hands are mainly used for yogurt.

Stylish lady and her 95-year-old mother.
The villagers asked to have their photos taken.

The Art of Flirty Waiters

M's Adventures
One of many charming waiters…

A truly talented waiter will bring not only food and drink to your table, but entertainment to your dining experience. Many of the elements of waiting tables is are the same as in acting — timing, pretend, and audience. A good flirt has these skills too. Not sleazy; just piquant. Jordan was filled with talented waiters.

My exchange with Khalil in Jordan was typical:

Khalil (stops clearing the table and looks deeply into my eyes): Wow, your eyes, they are a special color?

Me (I nod): Yes. You have to get up close to notice.

Khalil: Are you married?

Me: Not yet.

Khalil: Your husband will be a lucky man.

Me: Why?

Khalil: Because he will wake up to your eyes every morning.

Bearing fruit…

Khalil continued throughout the meal. The skills comes in delivering these lines without making it sound too cheesy. He’s used these lines for twenty years and he’s perfected his pitch and his timing. Like a perfect tango. I’ll engage. I’m happy to hone my repartee.

Talking smooth…
Serving sweets…

I was tired that night or I would have been much faster and funnier in my response… guess I need more practice. Oh shucks.

With smoke and mirrors…

Cover the Assets – Expat Dress in Dhaka

M's Adventures
The expat uniform.

First things first: If you look different from the Bangladeshis (and even if you don’t), people will stare at you in Dhaka. And if you are an expat, you will most definitely be stared at. It’s just what people do. Usually the stares are not aggressive or sleazy. For expat men, going shirtless or in shorts will attract attention. But, expat women seem more concerned (and they get more attention) about what to wear to be modest and respectful. Here are some basic observations I’ve made. Basically, if you are covered in loose clothing from collarbone-elbow-ankle and make sure that your rear end is covered by tunic… then you will be dressed like the locals. I notice that expat women who have lived here for a few months wear what I call the “expat uniform” – a kameez (tunic top), scarf (cotton), zip off REI pants, and TEVAs. Or the equivalent non brands. The basics of what I do (much more when going outside the expat area of town) is:

1. wear baggy pants/trousers/slacks which reach to the lower calf or longer. I don’t wear pants that drag on the ground because there’s sewage everywhere so I don’t want crud to accumulate on my ankles.

2. cover the assets (bust and bum) with loose cloth with the scarf covering the bust even though my neckline is to the collarbone. Cover my bum with the long length of my tunic.

3. cover my shoulders. No tank tops. And you are welcome since you don’t want to see my upper arms anyway.

No, I don’t cover my head. But, you can read my posting about why you might want to. I also have my hair out and I don’t think it’s too sexy. Lots of the locals wear their hair uncovered. Dark eye makeup is normal for the ladies here. If you are a pale blonde and wear red lipstick, folks are going to stare (which they will anyway but maybe for different reasons). But, many expats (especially hard on young blondes) find it a hassle to not be able to go anywhere without being stared at ALL the time. ALL the time. As a life long outsider, I’ve been stared at a lot so I don’t feel bad. If they are trying to photograph me all the time, then I take photos of THEM.

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One last thing, there are expats who will jog in short spandex… if you plan on doing that, make sure that you can OUTRUN the hordes who will race after you.

The Souk on Al-Rainbow Street

M's Adventures

My African American friend and I were headed in to the souk when I heard, “wassup, ni*&^%,” flung from a car with booming music. Almost immediately, three young guys standing near us starting apologizing for the comment with a “we are so sorry. They hear this in the rap music. They are stupid.” My friend graciously said that it was nothing. She’d heard it before. The rest of the Jordanians we met were not so uncouth. The souk was filled with pretty people and friendly vendors. Not aggressive but helpful. In general, my black friends got rather a lot of attention, most flirtatious, in Jordan.

The entrance to the souk filled with big buff security guys.

Small but fun, the Friday “Souk Jara” is a fun way to spend a few hours and grab dinner on a Friday night. Much like a flea market, you can buy olive soap, scarves, sesame seeds, puffed wheat snack, and many other things.

At the food court, I enjoyed dinner. The various fruit stands were giving samples with the watermelon juice winning out. I had a fabulous grilled hotdog with all the trimmings except the french fries. Then I had part of a “saj” a fresh dough wrap filled with your choice and then fried like a quesadilla. After that, how could I resist the Volk’s Burger when almost nothing beats the smell of grilled beef?

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For dessert, I had grilled bananas served with ice cream and honey. Mostly, I enjoyed the music, the mix of people, including musicians and eye candy.

See Petra with Friends

M's Adventures

In the early morning light of the cavern called “the Siq” in Petra, we three friends were alone in our walk round the twists and turns of the 30 minute walk to that classic view of Petra — the view of the Treasury through the slim gap of the Siq.

Petra by night.

We did actually have company in the form of three other tourists who outpaced us and a local dog. Plus a few of the local Bedouin guides trying to sell us donkey rides. But mostly, we were alone, skipping along the well kept path between the rose pink sandstone. The evening before, we had traipsed in the dark to the same spot with 300 other tourists for “Petra by Night” and I’d recommend it. The night walk costs 12 Dinars ($17) and the day pass costs 50 Dinar ($71) but it was worth it. I avoided the donkey and camel rides but the 20 Dinar ($28) horse cart gallop up the walk is also worth it. The two hour up the 800 steps to the “high place” did not seem worth it to me but you can take a donkey up and then, for those who enjoy vertiginous thrills, it might be worth it. But then you could also walk up in stilettos.

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Although Petra is touristy, it is much less so than many places on anyone’s list of places to see. I recommend getting up and going at 6 a.m. when the park opens. And bring friends.

Ramadan In Dhaka

M's Adventures

One of the changes in Dhaka during Ramadan (or Ramzan as they call it here), is that the traffic patterns change. After 6:30 p.m., there is almost no traffic on the roads so it makes getting around at that time ideal for those of us not trying to be somewhere to break the fast (Iftar) at sunset. The times of the shop openings are slightly different and things are in general not as bustling. But only slightly. Mostly, what one notices is the lack of traffic during normal rush hour hours.

One of my favorite roads in Dhaka.

If you are lucky enough to be invited to Iftar, you will find certain foods ready on your plate for that exact minute when the sun sets. Most of the items are small fried items like dates, fish cake, lentil patty, mini funnel cake, etc. There is also a special lentil soup called “haleem” which is a must to break the fast. Lemon water is the normal drink served. After the Iftar, or breaking of the fast, people will go for a quick prayer, then they eat a supper, often buffet if at a restaurant. Many, if not most, restaurants offer Iftar menus.

The end of Ramadan is marked by Eid-ul-Fitr (the first of two in the year). The long Eid is a festive time lasting days. Families give gifts, mainly of clothes, to each other. The shops are open all night long so that people can shop. Bonuses are paid. During the long Eid, many businesses close for days and many people leave town for the long holiday. The start and end of Ramadan depend on the moon.

Leave Your Shoes Outside to Pray

M's Adventures

Every back street in Luang Prabang, Laos, is filled with something new to see. We heard a bell pealing and then saw a quiet flow of people, locals and tourists, making their way, not to one of the many temples, but to a little building squeezed between a shop and cafe. It was so low key that I’m sure we could have taken off our shoes and joined in.

Come on in.

Dating in the Desh

M's Adventures
Courtship, Bangladeshi style.

Bangladesh is a crowded country so getting away from the madding crowd for a quiet “date” with someone you are courting or being courted by… is somewhat a matter of real estate. Famous Lalbagh Fort, considered a mini Taj Mahal, looks quite different from what is shown on the Amazing Race TV show, but it is worth visiting. There is a mausoleum built by a grieving father, a harem with baths, sweet smelling flowers, and a 300-year-old pool. Interestingly, what makes the fort so attractive is not the tomb, pool, or harem. In a crowded country, the walkways and niches provide a private place in a public space for young Bangladeshi couples to court. This a romantic place and there must be something in the air.

Lalbagh Fort’s mausoleum to two daughters.

Love rocks!

Courting Deshi couples wait outside the gate for the Fort to open.
The harem at Lalbagh Fort with the crowded apartment blocks just outside the fence.

On the Road to Agra

M's Adventures

Like millions before, we rented a car with driver for a ride to see the Taj Mahal. 10,000 rupees for the joy of six hours down, pit stop at McDonalds, a guide, eight hours back with pit stop at Moghul style restaurant…. going down was an adventure with a dickey wheel and a taste of the angry side of panhandling. On the border to Utter Pradesh, where our driver had to get out to pay some border tax, I snapped a photo of the monkey. Then the handler banged on the window and yelled at me for five minutes and rattled the door of the car.

Monkey and handler eye next prey.

Later on, within 40 kilometers of Agra, our tire blew. So we stopped for a pleasant cup of tea with some locals while our tire got fixed. One man manually changed the tire while eight watched him.

Do the monks deliver fresh tires?

The Price of Tourism

M's Adventures

Just as the end of a museum tour ends in the gift shop, a pit stop at a “model” resettlement village is sometimes the price to pay when traveling as a tourist. In Luang Prabang, Laos, we hired a tour guide for a day. He told us that we just need to make one stop along the way… a Hmong village.

Wares for sale in the Hmong village.

The Hmong people had been resettled here and make a living selling crafts to tourists. There are many debates on the pros and cons about whether this life is better for these people. Some people react by becoming very sad. Others feel uncomfortable. Yet others give the cute kids money after they’ve taken their photos. Some buy the crafts for sale. In this village, there was no pretense. The path through the village was lined with tables and stalls selling wares. We made our forced tour as fast as possible but, from the Northface clothing hanging on the line, it was evident that one could pay to stay overnight at this “authentic” village.

The youngest and the oldest women do the washing.

Gorgeous Luang Prabang Waterfall

M's Adventures

Walk up a waterfall and swim like tarzan in the jungle… at the Kuang Si waterfall near Luang Prabang, Laos.

The big waterfall... better to be breathless at the bottom than at the top.
One of the surreal colored pools.
George of the jungle...
One of many swimming holes on the walk up to the big waterfall.
Meet at the banana fritter stand when you get lost.

Just one reason that Laos is gorgeous!