Getting Mehendi, or henna, is usually associated with Bangladeshi wedding holuds (bridal shower), but it can also be done for other celebrations. Sometimes the celebration is the celebration of friendship bonding.
Mehendi flower on the palm.
Mehendi is a temporary tattoo of curling designs done on the feet, legs, hands, and arms. The ladies who do it are quick and the talents vary just as with any craft. The actual tubes they use are long thing cones made of foil paper. Depending on how much Mehendi you get done, it is fairly quick. A hand can take fifteen minutes. What takes a long time is waiting for the dye to dry. The Mehendi can be all natural or synthetic and it comes in several colors. The paste is usually a dark vegetable green but the resulting color may be orange, brown, or black. Once the Mehendi dries, the paste cracks and it will itch. The best way to remove the paste is with olive oil. I found using a spoon also helped.
Scraping the Mehendi paste off with olive oil.Mehendi hands of friends.
A few weeks ago, a friend was departing for the U.S. and she wanted Mehendi. It would be clear that she had arrived from the ‘desh! Deshi style!
Bangladesh is a crowded country so getting away from the madding crowd for a quiet “date” with someone you are courting or being courted by… is somewhat a matter of real estate. Famous Lalbagh Fort, considered a mini Taj Mahal, looks quite different from what is shown on the Amazing Race TV show, but it is worth visiting. There is a mausoleum built by a grieving father, a harem with baths, sweet smelling flowers, and a 300-year-old pool. Interestingly, what makes the fort so attractive is not the tomb, pool, or harem. In a crowded country, the walkways and niches provide a private place in a public space for young Bangladeshi couples to court. This a romantic place and there must be something in the air.
Lalbagh Fort’s mausoleum to two daughters.
Love rocks!
Courting Deshi couples wait outside the gate for the Fort to open.The harem at Lalbagh Fort with the crowded apartment blocks just outside the fence.
In Bangladesh there are many happy (and bittersweet) opportunities for decorating the house with lights. For a farewell party last week, professional lighting guys arrived in the morning and strung (and flung) lights on the trees, gate, and house.
Draping lights off the roof.
There is a famous company here in Dhaka called Banani Decorators who charge around 6,000 Taka per day ($80) but my friend has a friend who knows a guy who is the guy… 3,500 Taka ($45) for the first day and 2,500 Taka for the second day. This price includes labor and lights. Always be friendly and ask around. Find out who the “nodes” of the social world and “get up and go” kind of people are… they will set you up. Plus, a proactive type personality will probably also help you with the music, logistics, etc… and even be a good friend.
The magical result.Tape and lights.Weaving lights through the tree.
Another reason I’m enjoying Dhaka is because I get to see things that make for great stories (and blog postings). Getting a tour of a fashion house was an unexpected surprise!
A tailor at Kahon, Story of Stitch.
I had my Holud saree made by Sharmin, a fashion designer who has her own house of fashion, Kahon, Story of Stitch. I met Sharmin at a bazaar. She made my saree solely based on my verbal instructions. She finished it in time, emailed me that it was ready for pickup… but I could not get to her shop in time… because it was so important that I get my saree on time, she delivered it to my house! She even brought one of her tailors with her in case last minute adjustments needed to be made. What service!
Then she offered that I should come visit her “shop” in Tejgaon, the industrial park. (she has since moved her store upmarket:Â Dhanmondi-27, House-41, 3rd floor. Opposite the Dhaka bank. Her shop is in a building set back a bit from the main road) My friend offered to take me there. We handed the phone to the driver who listened to the complex directions and then we set off. Tejgaon is an area that can only really be visited on a Friday when the traffic is lighter (think Sunday in the US). We got to the area via a major road and then started down a road only big enough for rickshaws. Then we turned down a warren of streets and stopped at a gate. We had arrived.
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We saw no sign but once we got the guard to open the gate, then we were led past the guards’ room (a flat bed tucked in under the stairs), we entered the fashion house. We were greeted warmly by Sharmin and her family. We were lead into the salesroom past the hallway with four or five rooms filled with the hum of workers. Sewing machines lined the hallway ready for a surge during wedding season. Almost everything is made in Sharmin’s shop. She designs the applique pieces and stamps for block prints before designing the fashions (via computer) which are then cut and sewn by her team of tailors.
We chose many clothes and Sharmin took the time for us (demanding) customers even though she was also in the middle of delivering to the stalls are the International Trade Fair. She sells some clothes under her own brand, Kahon, while much of her clothing is sold (and marked up!) by other shops in Dhaka. We were excited to buy from the source and get some of the fashions even before the style was launched (very exciting for one fashionista moment). Many thanks to Sharmin and her husband for being so friendly.
Once I’ve taken some photos, I’ll post more on clothes and fashion in Dhaka.
After the Holud on another moonlit night, another wedding ceremony takes place.
Closeup of Bride's henna...
This ceremony is much less intimate with 1,000 guests invited. They come by SUV, white car with tinted windows, black car with tinted windows, and rickshaw. The groom and his family haggle to gain entrance and to cut the red ribbon held by the bride’s family. The bargaining and trash talking is done with good cheer. Once the groom enters, the couple sit through many photos up on a decorated stage. The bride wears red. The groom and many of the male guests wear business suits. After many photos, the 1,000 guests find tables to sit at. They are fed pilau (rice), chicken curry, goat, potatoes, and salad. The drink available is “burrhanee” – a spiced yogurt drink made of cumin and other spices plus black salt (which gives the drink its sulfuric aroma).
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After a few hours, the bridal party moves to their table to eat. A cooked and decorated kid is brought to them a a special food. Then, the bridal couple return to the stage to exchange flower garlands and to do the mirror ceremony. During this, they look into a mirror and say what they see. He said, “I see a princess…” and she said, “I see my everything.”
A Bangladeshi wedding consists of several ceremonies. There is hand painting with mendi and other ceremonies which I have not been to yet. But, I got invited to my first Bangladeshi “holud” or pre-wedding party.
The bridal couple on the stage at the Holud.
The Holud can last five or more hours depending on the venue’s closing times. The purpose of the Holud is to celebrate and bless the bridal couple. The bride is often sad on this occasion because this is the evening that she will be leaving her childhood home. A Holud (which is the word for “yellow” in Bangla so I am told) is supposedly the “fun” part of the wedding celebrations. The ladies tend to wear sarees for the Holud. The fashion is often to have one designer design all the clothes for the wedding. For this Holud, the bride’s family were in green, the groom’s family in red, and the bride in yellow. This creates the effect of the colors of the Bangladeshi flag surrounding a shining gold center.
The guests arrive over the course of two hours, eat appetizers (like phoushka – cracked fried dough shells with chickpea filling and chutney), greet family, and find good seats. Then the groom is escorted out onto the stage by his family. The bride is escorted by her family. Then there are songs and speeches (including PowerPoint photo montages). The bridal couple sit on the stage while guests line up in queues on either side. The guests go up on the stage, use the turmeric paste to bless the couple (married people can also then put the paste on their own faces) and feed the couple. Photos are welcome at any point during the evening and are encouraged.
Mild chaos reigns. Families come up. Colleagues come up. Friends come up. Everywhere photo flashes are blitzing and the temperature rises from the press of 300 bodies smiling, photographing, eating, dancing, and celebrating. At some point, the rehearsed dances are performed and dinner is served but mostly people are concerned with going up on the stage, getting their blessings in, and their photos taken. A general feeling of family and love is thick in the air.
During the cooler months here in Bangladesh, it is wedding season. According to one’s wallet, the houses and sometimes the streets are decorated to celebrate the nuptials. But, it’s not just the weddings that cause the light decorations. Lights can be a sign of any festive occasion from the birth of a child to the birth of the new year.
A whole building festooned in chill lights
Paper lanterns and string lights add a mysterious atmosphere
