One of my concerns about going on safari was the toilet situation. [If this is TMI, too much information, then stop reading now.]
When reading about safaris, no one seems to mention it. Why is this? I do not have the bladder of a camel. I like to stay hydrated and did not want to go four or five hours without drinking water. Especially in the hot dusty “bush” of the game park. I asked my friend who has been on many safaris about the peeing situation when on a game drive (these are usually from 5 am to 9 am) and again from 3 pm till dark. She said that they squat somewhere behind a bush… and watch out for lions…
A few weeks before going on safari, I was chatting with a colleague and it turned out that he had once owned a safari company. I asked him if they put up a “privacy tent” for the ladies when they needed to use the bathroom on the game drives. He said no. Usually, they recommended finding a bush… and watching out for lions…
I told him that I would be marking the vehicle, peeing right against a wheel. No wandering off to find a bush for me!
Some suggested that I use a Shewee (a funnel that allows a woman to stand while urinating). I would still have to get out of the vehicle… and watch out for lions…
But, then I got to thinking about it some more. I did some research (read about some of it here or this funny tale here). I asked around to those who do use adult diapers or know those who do. I decided that an adult diaper was the way to go. Just in case. I did some shopping for diapers. I could not find any that told me how much liquid an average diaper could hold. I read, “extra volume” and “holds for 12 hours” but no one mentioned if I could drink my 2.2 liters of recommended water and use only one diaper.
It didn’t matter because I could not wear it. It was too itchy. The “material” is made of the same material used for disposable underwear. Too itchy around the edges. The pads would be the solution. But, I still had no idea how much liquid it could hold. For those who do not know about adult incontinence pads, they are built with a substance that absorbs the liquid and turns it into a gel. Sort of as if you were building a small wall or brick. And that is a bit what it feels like.
To relieve my curiosity, I did an experiment. In the sink. I filled my daily water jug with water and poured it into the adult “pull up” underwear. I poured slowly as to avoid spillage. It held. I also tested the pad. It held. But it seemed like it would be uncomfortable.
So I went on safari without a solution. I think that safari places should take a pop-up seat along for the women. Or maybe I should take my own next time.
In the end, we could ask for a toilet stop or wait till the break. During the breaks, we could find a bush. I did not wander far off like some of the others. I just went to the other side of the jeep. This seemed a good idea to me for several reasons — I didn’t randomly touch some bush. I wasn’t in the bush with wild animals. And, I was still in the “profile” protection of the jeep (read my safari article to see why that is important).
All in all, I did not drink as much water as I normally would. Despite the heat and the bumpy rides. I tried to do all my hydration from 8:30 am when we got back for breakfast.
When baby elephants galumph, that’s when they are cutest.
I’ll admit that I wasn’t all that excited about going on another safari (okay, do I sound jaded?) but then, my friend reminded me that it was springtime in South Africa… and there would be lots of baby animals. And who, who (not I), can resist the cuteness of baby animals (I’m jaded but not a monster!)?
Going on safari entails not just the bit where you see the animals but also the “hotel” bit of the stay. The part where you see the animals is called the “game drive” because you drive out to see game. Most safari places have two game drives per day, one for sunrise and one for sunset. Depending on the place, you may have to get up at 4 in the morning. Others it’s 5 am. Our driver/guide told us that he would call us at 5 am and he wasn’t kidding. Every day for four days. We went on a four day safari so we went on eight game drives. There are also walking tours to see the animals. We did not do that, but you can if you want to. Each game drive lasts for three to four hours. Usually with a “pit stop” for a breakfast snack or a sunset cocktail snack. We were back at the safari lodge by 8:30 am every day, just in time for breakfast. Then again from 4 pm to 7 pm, back in time for dinner. After a lunch and a “tea” — going on safari is like a land cruise. You eat all the time!
Looks serious. I think it was an eland.
One’s safari experience depends heavily on where you have the experience. When I mentioned that I was going on safari, friends said, “oh, like glamping” — no, absolutely not. There is no tent involved. At least not for me. Some people like the idea of sleeping in a tent. Out in the bush where the warthogs and hippos roam…
I could even see the elephants from my bed!
I prefer to be separated from the animals when I am sleeping. We stayed at Madikwe Hills in the Madikwe Nature Reserve. Our place was fancy. The rooms are separate houses and ours was the size of an apartment. We had a sitting room, fireplace, large bathroom area with bathtub, shower, separate toilet room, and an outdoor shower. Outside, we had a wrap around balcony/deck and a private dipping pool. Our pool and deck had resident “rock wallies” which are a type of native rodent, like a guinea pig but slightly bigger. They moved away when we went outside and were not aggressive. Below is a slide deck of lots of the animals.
I liked the game drives at Madikwe. The guides from all the lodges are connected via radio and they make sure that no more than three vehicles are at any animal siting. This keeps it from being a circus. Often, it was just us and the animals. Our tracker sat on a chair on the front grill of the safari jeep (a nine seater + driver and tracker) and spotted animals and animal tracks for us. The driver/guide knows how to use a rifle and takes that with them when they go on walks (a “bush walk”). It takes a different sort of license. The truck is kitted out with blankets (they do safaris all year round) and the crew take well care of the guests (it is just like a cruise). They even fried up a “venison” meat every night, although the game venison was always sourced from a food source and not from the reserve.
What does it cost? Well, that depends on how lux you want. Madikwe Hills cost around $900 per night but we used one of their last minute deals that was 55 percent off. There is also the cost of tips, game drives, park fees, and park conservation fees. Don’t visit Madikwe if you are trying to do this on the cheap. Madikwe Hills is one of the most luxurious of the safari lodges. I chatted with some South Africans who were at the lodge and they mentioned this.
The gatehouse at our lodge with our vehicle waiting for us.
Most people go on safari in Kruger National Park. It is a bit more exclusive at Madikwe and the crowds are smaller. One night there was a cultural performance by the staff and a buffet “boma” which is a dinner around a campfire. The word, “BOMA,” comes from “British Officers Mess Area” and that factoid was my favorite part of it. Okay, not really, but I am a bit of a word nerd.
Looking into the interior dining area.
As for clothes, one reads about not wearing blue clothes or anything too bright. In Madikwe, that was not necessary. I had brought lots of lightweight long pants made of linen but in the end wore shorts and a linen shirt. It was hot. Like an oven hot. And in the early morning when it was cold, they provided blankets which were two layered with a fleece side and a windproof side.
Our tracker found a lost GoPro.
The animals in Madikwe do not include hippos or large elephants (in Kenya the elephants are much bigger than the ones down here) as those are not native to this part of South Africa. The lingo around safaris is different — there is the “big five” (African lions, leopards, rhinoceros, elephants, and Cape buffalo) which refer to the types of animals that you hope to see to check off your bucket list. We did not see a leopard.
Happy Hour on the game drive. Biltong, or dried meat, on the left.
I had never heard of the “little five” (Elephant Shrew, Ant Lion, Rhinoceros Beetle, Buffalo Weaver and Leopard Tortoise) which are related in name to the “big five.” The big five originally was a phrase used for big game hunting, but now the hunting involves camera shots only. Also mentioned was the “ugly five” but beauty is in the eye of the beholder so we had fun debating that list (warthog, vulture, wildebeest, Marabou Stork, and hyena).
This is the view you will have most of the time. Unless you have a zoom lens.
In Madikwe, the baby animals are allowed to spend their first six months not being watched by tourists which may make for less cute photos but is better for the animals. We did get to see cheetah “teens” who had just turned six months old so we were allowed to look at them. There are also a lot of birds. Lots. If you are a birder, then this is a joy. Take a huge camera lens. Otherwise, you will see the birds, but may not have photographic proof. The lodge gave us a little booklets so we could mark off what animals we had seen, including birds.
Zebra crossing…
Even if sitting in a dusty hot open air jeep is not your idea of a good time, you kind of get into it. I did. It was fun to learn about animal droppings. And to learn that lions pretty much just sleep all day.
One of the vehicles.
Was it dangerous? No and yes. No, because the animals are accustomed to the vehicles. So far, no tourist has been harmed (in 2018, a lion mauled a woman to death) recently. Yes, dangerous, because the vehicles have no windows. The animals are wild. We were told not to lift our butts off the seats because if the animals see a different profile in the normal “jeep” shape that they are accustomed to… as our guide said when one of our group started rising up to get a better photo… “that lion can get here in three seconds” — got it!
Let’s just say that we looked out for each other (as in we all yanked him back down onto his butt!). Because none of us wanted a lion attack. If you do get attacked by a lion, the advice is to face the lion and look as big as possible. The key is to not act like a source of food so no running like a gazelle. And, try to find well-fed lions.
South Africa is known for safaris, Capetown, penguins, the garden route, where the two oceans meet, and wine country. If you want to get inspired, I recommend a South African Youtube channel called “Like a Tourist” (I think they may soon run tours as well). Get inspired by the lesser known parts of South Africa, shown with excellent cinematic skill, by a native. I got inspired to go to Barrydale Hand Weavers, but otherwise, I relied on the recommendations of a friend who lives there… If you want to do what I did, then I’ve listed it below. Note: I will write about these places in separate blog postings in the next six months.
My itinerary:
You might make eye contact with a lion.
Safari –– Four night safari at Madikwe Hills: Madikwe is a private game reserve to the north of Pretoria. It is a four hour drive of which the last hour or so is inside the game reserve (so you will be on your own game drive!). Madikwe Hills is a luxury safari lodge (Think in the $500 per night and up range). I will write more about Madikwe in a separate article. I highly recommend them. I will write about safari in a separate article.
The view of the “game drive” vehicle at our luxury lodge.
The Garden Route — two nights in each — Capetown, Hermanus, and Knysna:
Breakfast view of the back of Table Mountain, at the Vineyard Constantia hotel.
Capetown: We stayed at the Vineyard, not in downtown Capetown, and it was a lovely hotel with views of table mountain. While in Capetown, we went to the Cape of Good Hope (the “southernmost” point of Africa — actually location is Cape Agulhus which is 90 miles away), we did fancy dinners (Chef’s Table at the Beau Constantia Vineyard and Belly of the Beast). We took Uber (your account will work here too) as to avoid driving, drinking and driving, and parking nightmares. We flew to Capetown on Safair, a domestic airline, and two things to note about that — it is possible to take liquids onto your domestic flights so load up on your coffee or tea — and you can reserve the middle seat for not so much money thus making it a pleasant flight. While in Capetown, you can go up the cable car to Table Mountain. Some days you will see nothing but we were lucky with sunshine. The cool thing about the funicular is that it rotates! So you will get a good view wherever you are standing when you get in. The ride is short (five minutes?) but the line is long (buy the VIP passes). Check out the botanical gardens.
There is also a restaurant at the botanical gardens.
Hermanus: We drove to a secret spot to see penguins (Betty’s Bay, on the way to Hermanus, and park at the Stony Point Penguin Colony entrance — you will still see penguins even when the colony is closed. It’s an insider’s secret!), did wine tastings (more to come on those later), and stayed at the Marine One hotel. The staff are helpful, the penthouse is large with a view of the whale-filled bay, but there are no elevators). The staff there can help you get to your whale watching and wine tasting. This is the place for whale watching.
Penguins hanging out on the beach. Amazing views along the Garden Route.
Knysna (‘nice-naw’): This is a place to see the Knysna Headlands (I really liked the East Head Cafe), enjoy a sailboat ride, eat seafood, shop at Old Nick Village (a small outdoor shopping area including Mungo and their workshop), visit Barrydale for the drive and the shopping, and explore other shopping opportunities such as a farmers market. We stayed at Mount Knysna which has amazing views (and an elevator) and very nice rooms (the presidential suite has an extra bedroom).
View of the Heads from Mount Knysna hotel.
Another national park and small town — Clarens: Not on my list, but I went along with it. The town is known for being a cute artsy town, for the local hikes, amazing vistas in the national park (Golden Gate is not just in California), and a fun pitstop on the way to Lesotho. We stayed at the Marriott in town because then the town square and delicious restaurants were within walking distance (five minutes), but you can stay at a castle or a palace, or something more rural. Up to you. There is lots of do in Clarens, from dinosaur hunting, hiking, gin tasting, brewpub visiting, and cheese tasting. I had the most delicious Italian food there. The owner is from Bologna.
Golden Gate park in Clarens.
Pretoria: See the government building and giant statue of Mandela, have clothes made (or not), enjoy the malls, the low prices for steak ($20 for a steak dinner) and other meat. Enjoy the jacaranda trees in bloom in spring.
Tender meat at cheap prices everywhere! This was a happy hour snack while on safari.
What time of year to visit? I went in October which is spring but the temperature varied depending on where we were. Some days it was unseasonably hot in the 90s F (35 C) and other days it was down to 50 F (15 C). The baby elephants and jacarandas are a springtime thing. Whale watching is in the spring.
This year I had a few amazing animal encounters. I was touched by a manta ray, “trunked” by a baby elephant, and slobbered on by a giraffe.
Soft and slobbery.
I had never imagined just how soft and gooey a giraffe lick would be. I guess the goo factor helps make the leaves stick when the giraffes eat from trees. But what surprised me most was the sound. As the giraffe swallowed the pellets I was feeding her, she greedily sucked them in. Then all of a sudden, a deep sound like that of a didgeridoo, rumbled near my ear. It was all those pellets falling down the giraffe’s throat.
African elephants are huge and they cannot limbo. To prevent the elephants from eating everything, the safari camps use dangling metal rods strung up like a belly dancer’s belt. These gates are so tall that our safari jeep fit underneath with only a rattle.
The elephants look small with the mountain in the background.
There is almost no way to avoid being exploited as a tourist. If we accept it, then we pay. My friend wanted to go to an “authentic Masai village” and so we did. It cost us about $25 per person. We were shown around and encouraged to contribute to the school and the well, etc. then we were encouraged to buy souvenirs. A horn soap dish and two elephant hair bracelets were the only thing my friend wanted. The chief’s son started the bargaining at $100. We did not buy anything. My advice to anyone when dealing with cash cows is to give us the feeling that you respect us. That is the best sales technique.
