Physical Therapy By A Lima Anatomist

“I don’t mind if I scream out in pain as long as I feel better the next day.” Does that sound like a good recommendation for a massage therapist?

If you’ve read my bio page, then you know that one of the things I “collect” like stamps — are massage, physical therapy, experiences. So, when I heard about this “don’t mind if I scream” therapist, I took the endorsement and whatsapped her during dinner! After all, my physical therapist, Kharla, left me, so I’ve been trying out different therapists. I’ve tried Thalia, Silvana, Luz, and others whose names I can’t recall. I’ve been having Luz do my massages but she puts skid marks on my walls to gain traction enough to dig deep into my corpus. Something keeps me from scheduling her on a regular basis.

After a few weeks with no physical therapy, my neck and shoulders start to make me walk like I’m carrying a sack of coal. So, tonight was the night to try the “no pain, no gain” therapist. Gisell arrived a few minutes after the appointed time. She is cuddly-looking woman with a sweet face. I asked her about the price for an hour massage. 120 soles for the “strong” and 100 for the “light” massage. I went for the strong. After all, I haven’t actually met too many therapists who could actually hurt me, at least not for more than a few seconds (other than that sadist in Queens — a whole other story)…

But, sh^&$@^%#*%&@sus (pardon my F^&&!#), did I meet one who can put a hurtin’ on! I told her that my neck and shoulder hurt. She proceeded, for the next hour, to try to squeeze, push, extrude, shove, bump, pull, yank, and extract the flesh, AND the marrow, from between my bones and ligaments — through my vertebrae! As I was wide awake and following every thumb scoop, I learned a lesson in anatomy (I did have to stop her orbital massage as I wasn’t sure if she would change my vision). At one point, I would have giggled but I couldn’t.

Afterwards (no arm, hand, or feet massage), I asked her where she had learned her technique. It turns out that she also studied anatomy! She said that she had to do it deep to relieve the knots and pain in my shoulders…

If you want to try the p(g)ain, her information is:

Gisell (does not speak English): 966 291 877

100 soles for gentle one-hour (not sure if that’s possible)

120 soles for deep-DEEP one-hour

She doesn’t bring her own massage table as she normally does her work on a normal mattress and with a pillow as a bolster.

Next time, I’ll have her do a finger massage. That will be interesting research…

Water. Normally, I think all that “toxins leaking” is hogswoggle, but…

Middle Eastern Food in Bogota

The menu is certainly sexy.
The menu is certainly sexy.

Despite the expectation that due to Shakira’s existence, middle eastern food should be common here in Bogota — it’s not. These are the restaurants that I’ve tried and my review of them.

Al Khalifa, various locations, (5/13): I actually was quite awash in memories of Jordan, Bangladesh, and other Muslim and middle eastern countries when I ate here. Instead of Jesus Christ of Superstar, there was a Muslim version on the TV. The food wasn’t great but my memories are.

Beirut, Calle 117 #6-30, Usaquen, (12/13): It’s the upscale version of middle eastern food. Large and lofty.

Panaderia La 85 (Lebanese Bakery), Calle 85 near Carrera 12, (10/13): It’s not fancy. They sell Lebanese pita bread and products. They make kibbeh, hummus, and stuffed grape leaves, but I’m never sure if they have all the products all the time. I went with a friend of the owner.

Chicken on a stick, tabouleh salad, and falafel at Beirut.
Chicken on a stick, tabouleh salad, and falafel at Beirut.

Zatar, Carrera 5 #69-15, Zona G, (12/13): It was described as a hole-in-the-wall to me but it’s not. It’s hard to find only because they are in plain sight. Their awning is black with no signage. Just walk down the street from the Starbucks (oh, right, that doesn’t help). The food is good although a bit on the wet (saucy) and sweet side. The people who work there seem rather nice. At least that’s the vibe I got.

One final gripe… even I can make flat bread hot off the fire/oven… so I can’t understand why all these places serve me cold pre-made bread.

The bread spread at Beirut. The chile sauce is perhaps their version of harissa? It was HOT!
The bread spread at Beirut. The chile sauce is perhaps their version of harissa? It was HOT!