Watch Out for Lions (or How to Pee on Safari)

One of my concerns about going on safari was the toilet situation. [If this is TMI, too much information, then stop reading now.]

When reading about safaris, no one seems to mention it. Why is this? I do not have the bladder of a camel. I like to stay hydrated and did not want to go four or five hours without drinking water. Especially in the hot dusty “bush” of the game park. I asked my friend who has been on many safaris about the peeing situation when on a game drive (these are usually from 5 am to 9 am) and again from 3 pm till dark. She said that they squat somewhere behind a bush… and watch out for lions…

A few weeks before going on safari, I was chatting with a colleague and it turned out that he had once owned a safari company. I asked him if they put up a “privacy tent” for the ladies when they needed to use the bathroom on the game drives. He said no. Usually, they recommended finding a bush… and watching out for lions…

I told him that I would be marking the vehicle, peeing right against a wheel. No wandering off to find a bush for me!

Some suggested that I use a Shewee (a funnel that allows a woman to stand while urinating). I would still have to get out of the vehicle… and watch out for lions…

But, then I got to thinking about it some more. I did some research (read about some of it here or this funny tale here). I asked around to those who do use adult diapers or know those who do. I decided that an adult diaper was the way to go. Just in case. I did some shopping for diapers. I could not find any that told me how much liquid an average diaper could hold. I read, “extra volume” and “holds for 12 hours” but no one mentioned if I could drink my 2.2 liters of recommended water and use only one diaper.

It didn’t matter because I could not wear it. It was too itchy. The “material” is made of the same material used for disposable underwear. Too itchy around the edges. The pads would be the solution. But, I still had no idea how much liquid it could hold. For those who do not know about adult incontinence pads, they are built with a substance that absorbs the liquid and turns it into a gel. Sort of as if you were building a small wall or brick. And that is a bit what it feels like.

To relieve my curiosity, I did an experiment. In the sink. I filled my daily water jug with water and poured it into the adult “pull up” underwear. I poured slowly as to avoid spillage. It held. I also tested the pad. It held. But it seemed like it would be uncomfortable.

So I went on safari without a solution. I think that safari places should take a pop-up seat along for the women. Or maybe I should take my own next time.

In the end, we could ask for a toilet stop or wait till the break. During the breaks, we could find a bush. I did not wander far off like some of the others. I just went to the other side of the jeep. This seemed a good idea to me for several reasons — I didn’t randomly touch some bush. I wasn’t in the bush with wild animals. And, I was still in the “profile” protection of the jeep (read my safari article to see why that is important).

All in all, I did not drink as much water as I normally would. Despite the heat and the bumpy rides. I tried to do all my hydration from 8:30 am when we got back for breakfast.